Intern priest

Bettina · 2009-05-15T16:40:57+00:00

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After the mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip. So next Sunday he took the monsignors advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door: Sip the Vodka, dont gulp. There are 10 commandments, not 12. There are 12 disciples, not 10. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet on his ass. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the ******** out of him. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, dont say he was stoned off his ass. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, Take this and eat it for it is my body. He did not say, Eat me. The Virgin Mary is not called Mary with the Cherry. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peters, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffys.

Thread starter Bettina
Start date May 15, 2009

Bettina

JamiiForums uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.

Accept Learn more…

Back

Top Bottom

Forums

New posts

Intern priest

Bettina

Senior Member

Our Community

Regional Communities