Secret's out

BAK · 2010-06-04T00:42:07+00:00

Secret's out Women cheat out of boredom, men wander for pleasure By TANYA ENBERG We hear a great deal about men who stray - the news of cheating hubbies Tiger to Jesse jump out at us from the tabloid glossies and adultery is even gets sensationalized in the lives of fictional characters, such as the debonair gents on the TV series, Mad Men - but what about women? Certainly they're just as prone to sexual temptations, non? I decided to take a look at how women fit into this seemingly soaring trend. The answer may lie at AshleyMadison.com - the infamous website site that helps married people arrange string-free affairs - where new profiles being posted by females are skyrocketing. "When women are cheating, they're usually bored in a relationship," Read explains. "If you're not getting the emotional intimacy you need in your relationship, you're probably going to look for it elsewhere. Women tend to withdraw physically and men withdraw emotionally." It's a commonly held belief that women are unfaithful when they feel a lack of intimacy and connection with a partner, whereas men wander purely for physical release. However, Dr. David Hersh, clinical director Hersh Centre for Sexual Wellness, dismisses the idea of such gender generalizations. "Over the years, I've seen close to an equal number of men and women want more sex from their partners," says Hersh. "Women often have the same reasons for going outside of the marriage - more sex - and I also think men are sometimes looking for emotional closeness in the same way women are." When one man suspected his wife of 11 years of seeing someone else, he was shocked by what he found. There were some obvious red flags: She was suddenly very secretive with her text messaging, carrying her phone everywhere and spending more time online, but the biggest sign was how emotionally and physically disconnected she'd become. He said the changes started happening after his wife dropped 60 pounds within a year. "She was looking pretty hot," the 38 year old recalls. "I noticed, as soon as she started losing weight, she was getting attention from guys and she liked it." One night when the couple was out at a bar, he saw her wink flirtatiously at another guy. "That was the first incident when I really knew there was something wrong ... that she wasn't interested in me anymore. That was the first sign things were going down hill," the 38-year-old recalls. While he tried talking to her, she waved him off dismissively. Unable to shake his suspicions, he eventually decided to check her email. Turns out, his hunch was dead on. "There were emails from some guy I'd never heard of," he recalls. "When I opened up the emails, I just about fell off my chair." In one message, she asks the man whether he liked her "black bra." It had been sent from the couples' bed just 15 minutes earlier. "I was blown away. I printed off the email, brought it to her, and obviously, right away, I broke down." And so, Pandora's Box was opened. He soon discovered the existence of another mysterious guy, one his partner was so cosy with she'd sent him erotic photos of herself. While the pair tried counseling, reflecting back, he realizes now that the marriage was already done. "At that point, I realized I'd quit the marriage." Last year, he found a new apartment and recently started dating again. "I moved out and I've never been happier," he says. "I am happier now than a pig in sh--." Did you know? Some 65% of men and women have snooped through their significant other's personal items to uncover their secrets, according to the 2010 Harlequin Romance Report. Who's more likely to cheat? Who do you think is most likely to cheat, a teacher or real estate agent? If you guessed teacher, you are correct. A roundup of 1.9 million user profiles on AshleyMadison.com found that females who work as teachers are the most likely to have an affair, compared to those working in other professions. Here are the top five high-risk cheating occupations for women: 1. Teachers 2. Stay-at-home moms 3. Nurses 4. Administrative assistants 5. Real estate agents

Thread starter BAK
Start date Jun 4, 2010

BAK

JF-Expert Member

Jun 4, 2010

Nyani Ngabu

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Secret's out

BAK

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Nyani Ngabu

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